In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
