2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
