You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
