She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
