I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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