Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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