and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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