Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
