He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize