If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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