Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think my fart just growled at me.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So gin and wine won't be happening again
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
