Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
