she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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