In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
