Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
