We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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