Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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