There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
