I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the day after is always just damage control
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
