This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
