have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
