If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
