Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
