he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We're too hungover to prance.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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