I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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