What a fucking waste of an outfit
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
how does that bad decision feel?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
