I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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