Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
