wat bout pragnant strippers??
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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