Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
