He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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