I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize