the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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