I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
do herpes really smell.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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