The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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