Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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