I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
