windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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