if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
All the doctor said was why
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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