Just fell off a train. Bad.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
