Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize