On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
