I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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