i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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