Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
