I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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