My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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