I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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