You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
