so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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