It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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