it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
