He told me they were just razor bumps!
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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