That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
did i just pee glitter
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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