I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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