If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
