I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
