no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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