Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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