It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
