i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
