like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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