i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
