Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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